Ever have those days when you feel like you put your heart (in my case, creativity or lack thereof, depending on how you view my work) out there and that, even though no one has been condescending, that youre being scrutinized? The last few days have been like that.

Lack of blogging  = down and out.  I’m tired … and tired of being in the house. Winter blah’s maybe?  Finally made it outside today, it was nice out for a while.  The kids even got to play with the sweetpea little neighbor girl that, in the summer, I’m used to seeing every day -along with her mom who is a great friend.  E. screamed his HEAD off when we came in for the night (after 6pm mind you) and begging with tear-filled giant brown eyes for us to put his coat back on and “go out”.  K. ran like the wind in her snowboots through the mud and it was awesome.  A little mud never hurt anyone, and it sure made her happy.

It’s not the typical “location photographer goes on winter blah with a depress of inspiration” feeling I have going on.  I don’t know what it is.  Tonight I got the kindest email from a current client who just recieved her gallery – it was full of praise!  It’s not often I get that (or feedback at all really – even when I offer free prints for it) so I kind of just sit around and base off the order if they really liked them or not.

As lovely as it was to read that tonight, it just made me realize that I’m doing something wrong.  I’m not reaching people in a way that makes them want to respond to me.  And I don’t know what it is.   I’m a little goofy – and I talk a lot.  Mainly because…. well, I’ve got young kids and anyone with them knows how easy it is to unload on people all the “big kid” stuff you can’t say to 5 and 1 year olds when youre talking about “potty” and “did you go poopoo? come back here!” and “pleaaaaaase dont touch that” all day.  Maybe it’s annoying.  Maybe writings not my thing anymore.

I used to hesitate on writing things like this when I’m feeling in a funk (I really dont like that word) because I thought it would reflect poorly on my drive or business-like-ness.  But then I realized it only makes me human and more visible as being one  (human)  than just a super chipper lady with a camera or two.  While I am the latter, I certainly have my down days as well.  Does it mean I’m going to show up to your session frumpy and uninspired? Heck no.  There’s inspiration everywhere I turn.  

I know there are people out there waiting for me to bite it and fail.  But to those of you who arent, keep coming back.  I’ll have something decent to say soon…

… and also to those who keep coming back….

Thank You.

xoxo